Drinking and spelling don't generally go together, perhaps because imbibing makes one "cockeyed," "pie-eyed," or "blind drunk," in addition to impairing one's judgment. At a recent barroom spelling bee (where vision isn't a factor and your judgment may already be in question), I walked the line pretty steadily up until the end when the last two competitors went at it in dizzying fashion for another sixty-some rounds. The eventual winner did accept a drink on the house—a Jägermeister—midway through the face-off, although it's usually best to attempt such feats sober. OhioLINK contains 15 cases of public Drunkeness, a typo for drunkenness that reaches "high probability" levels on the Ballard list. Granted, the word's a bit easier to say that way, especially after you've knocked back a few, but that's really no excuse. (Photograph by P.I. King.)Carol Reid
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